Complaining
In the Buddhism I practice, we adhere to the principle that complaining will erase your benefits, the benefits you gain from practicing nam myoho renge kyo. For example, there are Buddhists who know that they complain a lot and who decide to take on a challenge for several days, sometimes 100, sometimes more or less, not complaining, and often that changes their whole view of things.
Today I was on our sunlit street talking to a neighbor, she has lived in this neighborhood for half a century and of course, she has seen the neighborhood change, I have seen that too and I have lived here for a quarter of a century.
When she came to live here there were shops on every corner, which have now become offices or a dentist or a midwifery practice.
When I moved here twenty-five years ago, there was still a post office on the corner, a greengrocer across the street. On the corner was the almost always deserted Tilex bar, which was only busy when there was a billiard competition. The Tilex bar had a long bar, a few tables, and a large billiards table in the middle of the cafe, white net curtains hung in front of the windows, the cafe had something terribly sad, and it turned out that a drama had happened to the owner.
Twenty-five years ago, all homes were still social housing and mostly older couples lived here. The houses were split up, which gave the owners the opportunity to sell the houses. The older people died or moved to a retirement home, young families bought the houses, and I became the older one.
The woman I spoke to, complained a bit, at first about her health which is bad, and it might get worse, she rides in a wheelchair and only has one leg left and the other must come off too, she told me, I felt compassion for her and told her how I felt for her. I did, I'm terrible myself if I don't feel well for even a millimeter. Till the moment. Until then. Until she started talking about an acquaintance who had home care three times a day and how bad the home care was. At that moment I said bluntly: now I must go, goodbye and I turned around. She looked surprised but I quickly ran away.
On my way home, about twenty meters away, I thought why I am doing this so abruptly.
The answer is
If someone starts complaining about his or her health I can sympathize, but if someone starts complaining about a neighbor who had experience with home care, the doctor, a shopkeeper I give up, I don't want to hear that, I think: no way with that complaining, I'm not going to listen to that and I run away without any courtesy.